***Not edited. 🙂 writing at the doctor’s office, so excuse if it needs it. I’m sure it does lol I’ll change it when I read from home***
First thing: this blog. This is my first post on this blog since returning home from the hospital and it’s different. Had to figure it out all over again. Which brings me to my point. How quickly things can change.
We all know life isn’t like we read it. We don’t live in a fictional world of sexy vampires, rich millionaires, and romantic men. I wish life could only be so easy 😉 For over a year, my life has been that fictional world. I love it, I lived though them, and wrote my world to bring them to life. Just as I have a line of men and worlds to bring to paper, my real life took a u turn.
Most of you know I was in the hospital. Some believe it and some don’t. That is your choice to think such things, but I’m a lot of things, but a liar is not one. I would never use my “real” life to make my “fictional” one better. Ratings and money are perks of my author life, but the respect of my readers tops everything. For I’m nothing without you. That being said, the truth is I was indeed very ill. How did it happen?
October 10th my husband and I celebrated our seventeen year anniversary. We went to dinner and as we were sitting at the table my right big toe went numb. I’ve had back problems since I was sixteen, so this was not a new thing. The new thing was that two days later it was still numb along with half my leg and my other leg. After not being able to even lift my leg to walk to get my children, I figured an ER trip was necessary.
Long story, short: The found a cyst on my spine wrapped in nerves. They tired simple treatments first to see if it would “help” but it only got worse and I was almost completely paralyzed from my knees down. Surgery was very necessary at that time.
Thankfully, the surgery went flawless. They removed the cyst which had a nickel sized mass inside. They had never seen anything like this. The surgeon asked six of his fellow doctors and all agreed, this was something new. Sent to pathology, it came back as a benign(thank God) mass from the middle east. Nope never traveled. Nope don’t have middle eastern genetics…. you’re clue is as good as mine and theirs as to how it was there and I got it. They’re actually writing a medical report on it. It’s nice to be different 😉 lol.
Healing was bad. I was unable to bare weight for almost a week after surgery. The PT and nurse accused me of “Faking” even consulted a psychologist to see if it was in my mind. Yes, this is what I was told. I couldn’t walk, could use the bathroom, and they thought I was faking. After bawling like a baby, the psychologist came in and confirmed that I was indeed NOT FAKING and scolded the nurses. It was refreshing seeing the doctor tell them off and come to my rescue.
The nerve damage affect not only my legs, but my fingers, throat, and nose. They have no idea again why this happened, but it did. After days of not healing, my body protested. I could tell something was going to happen and it wasn’t good. I even told my husband if something happened to me to take care of my kids. He told me to stop that I was over reacting, but I felt it.
Later that night, after fighting with nurses to get me help. I had one nurse believe me and consulted a doctor and just in time. My blood pressure was lowering by the minute and as they consulted it dropped to 40/20. All I remember is them telling me to keep talking and I was babbling a mile a minute as they transferred me to the ICU.
My kidneys were shutting down, my heart was weak, and I was basically on my way out, said one doctor. But God thankfully had other plans and I had some amazing doctors and nurses that helped me recover. After determining that a bladder infection went septic, they pumped antibiotics in me for days. I was recovering great, except my legs.
After two days, I took a nap and I remember so vividly. I woke up and I was in pain, so I moved to call the nurse and I moved my leg. I thought I was dreaming, but no it worked. I couldn’t feel them, but I could MOVE them. After crying tears of happiness, I called the doctor to check. The infection was so bad in my body that the healing of my spine could not have happened if they didn’t give me antibiotics.
It’s crazy, I never knew an infection could do all that, and for the first time I felt hope. I spent another two days in ICU and then was moved to a recovery floor. It was hard, but as days went by I got stronger and stronger.
Seven days in a rehab and I was sent home on home therapy. It was a miracle they caught the infection and that is what cured me. That and all the prayers and well wishes from my friends!
Skip to today:
I can walk! I can finally type with little numbness. I can take care of my kids. I still can’t do a lot of things like before, but I’m getting there. My feet are still numb which the doctor says could last up to a year. Sometimes, life takes adjustment. I’m adjusting 🙂
I do have another cyst, but thankfully it’s a superficial. Will need some minor work, but nothing to complain about. Although its a literal pain in my ass 😉 I will need further back surgery, rods and pins, but NOT now. All in good time. Right now, I focus on my kids, family, career, and friends.
I’ve recently had a great trial in my author career as well. No need for drama so I won’t go into details, but again I’ll get through it. I have the best friends, readers, and family. Everyone else is secondary. Lets all just face the facts, if someone wants to hurt you, they’ll find a way. We can overcome. I will overcome.
I DID! I WILL!
This is my life and I love it. Was this trial in my life a second chance? Who knows. Maybe it was. All I know is, I’m not taking anything from granted. I will love those that love me. If others think all this is fake or I’m fake, then it’s fine. I am happy and I refuse to be anything but.
With that said:
Look for an excerpt from Dark Regret and the blurb. I apologize for all the delays, but I’m working as I heal. I am just grateful that I have such supportive people in my life.
I love you all. ❤
A little vampire Billy 😉 just because